Why I Hate You
by DJ Moves
Summary: Kaiba sits down and writes a letter to Joey telling him why he hates him so much. Abuse, rape, yaoi. K/J Completed
1. 01

Title: Why I Hate You  
  
Author: DJ  
  
Rating: R  
  
Notes/Warnings: This contains swearing. Unfortunately, that's the least of the issues here. There's also incest, rape, child abuse, drinking, underage sex, suicide, death, and a whole lot of things that are wrong no matter what way you look at them! There are (mostly) male/male situation, probably going into some bit (if not more) detail. These are both (but separately) consenting and non-consenting individuals. This is mostly an angst story with (hopefully) happiness in it too. But don't expect too much. I do plan on writing a fluff SOMEDAY. Until then, this is something that I kind of needed to write to deal some of those "skeletons in the closest" issues that have suddenly resurfaced in my life.  
  
Summery: If I haven't scared you off yet, here's some other random should- know: Kaiba's P.O.V., "talking" to (obviously) Joey. I like this style and used once before in a Yami/Kaiba rape-ish type story. It's good for darker stories. Anyway, also, this takes place around their freshmen year (assuming they're currently sophomores), so they're probably a bit out of character. I'm smudging some details and putting it on my own time-frame.  
  
Shiai-competition, game, match. Not Seto's real last name as far as I know. Kaiba and Mokuba are suppose to sort of be the only Japanese- Americans in the story. Just one of those things.  
  
iWhy I Hate You/i  
  
You sometimes ask why I hate you so much. I think in some ways you know. But I suppose you don't know the whole story. And I guess it's not fair to continue to call you rude names if your simple mind doesn't even understand why I hate you so much. So I guess I'm writing this for that reason. I mean, I don't know why I'm wasting my time on you. I have so many other more IMPORTANT things to be doing right now than reminiscing about how shitty you are. But here we go: the explanation you've always wanted.  
  
You were late to class again and you hurriedly ran through the rain towards school. You had just been transferred to Domino High for nearly getting thrown in jail after that little stunt you and your gang had pulled. You hadn't even been to school for a full week when you got in trouble for the first time. You didn't really care, though, as they lectured you extra hard because YOU were a PROBLEM and you weren't expected to even be staying there that long.  
  
You yawned, a bit bored, your eyes gazing around the office. That when you saw me first, but I doubt you even remember me with my green hair and arms crossed, listening to the consular drone on about "how exciting it is having a *Kaiba* go to school."  
  
I do think you remembered me, though, on the playground that recess.  
  
If not, you're an even dumber dog than I thought.  
  
I don't know why you chose me as your victim. I suppose I wasn't very tall then. Easy target, like that Yugi kid was, right? I wasn't his height, but I was defiantly shorter than you at the time. Or maybe because I was new and easy target. I doubt that, though, you were new, too. I think it's mostly because of the ten dollar bill I pulled out for lunch. I guess your dad had forgotten to give you money that day because you targeted me. You wanted that money and you were going to have it.  
  
You stepped in my path as I was walking up to the lunch line, arms crossed, cool, collected look on your face. Your blond hair fell in loose, silky strands and I could tell you conditioned to get it that way. I stared back at you with the same stare and I could feel the crowd pull around us before we had even spoken to each other.  
  
"Give me that ten, snot hair."  
  
I pulled then ten out slowly and people seemed to give a collective sigh of 'Damn, no show.' I surprised both you and them when I waved it in front of your eyes. "This? You want my money?"  
  
"Yeah, give it to me, punk."  
  
I handed it to you and you grinned happily. While you were too stupid to notice until it connected, I reached back and slugged you in the stomach. You keeled over in pain and I grabbed my ten back from you, taking it with me outside and I sat down in a bench, minding my own business.  
  
*I* was surprised when you came up to me, people following you, wanting to see what would happen.  
  
"Stand up! RIGHT NOW!"  
  
I did as you said, putting my hands on my hips. "Yes?"  
  
"Who do you think you are? NO ONE crosses me, you understand?"  
  
"And no one crosses me, either. It THAT understood?"  
  
"And *just* who are you, Mister High and Mighty?"  
  
"I am Seto Shiai Kaiba. And you picked the WRONG person to mess with."  
  
"Is that so? Well listen, you little Oriental freak, I--"  
  
I launched on you, knocking you onto the ground, pounding my fists into your face, over and over again. The surrounding people egged me on as they shouted "fight, fight, fight!" I straddled your hips as you kicked and waved your arms wildly, attempting to knock me off. When you began to push against me, I grabbed you by the neck, pulling you forward, then, bam, cracking your skull against the pavement. I climbed off of you then, all this taking place in a matter of probably two minutes. You wheezed from the ground, trying to pull yourself up, covered in blood. I gave you one last kick. "I warned you; don't fuck with me."  
  
You lost some of your edge you had with our peers. They didn't jump out of your way, but they still were scared of you. They wouldn't come near me. I felt lonely. They'd look when they thought I couldn't see them, then gasp when I DID look up. I hated them all. Just because I could defend myself against you, right? I never deserved any friends. I just wasn't good enough, was I? I was different. It didn't matter. I hated all of you anyway. I didn't want friends. I liked being alone. I'm not fooling you, am I?  
  
I guess next time you were just caught at the wrong place at the right time. I was sitting in the park, minding my own business, but I guess you couldn't see me. I was crouched up next to a tree, laying my forehead on my knees when you tripped and fell against me. "You little shit!" I screamed, throwing you onto the ground.  
  
You stared up at me, eyes wide. "S-Seto, I did--"  
  
"Shut up!" I screamed at you, punching you in the mouth.  
  
You launched back at me and I was a bit surprised after our earlier experience. Your fists flew at me and knocked me square in the neck, causing me to fall onto my knees, chocking. You stopped, trying to see if I was okay and I elbowed you in the stomach, knocking you down next to me. Now it was just a race of who would recover first. We began trying to suck in our breaths, only making it worse. While I was still gasping, I snaked my arm around your leg and knocked you down onto your back. I jumped on top of you and began slamming my fists into your body. Your fist comes up and cracks me in the jaw but that doesn't stop me. In fact, your fighting back only made me worse.  
  
In blind rage, my fists rain down on your body. "I'll fucking kill you!" I screamed. I wasn't even sure why I was so mad. Yes I do. But you didn't. You figured it must have just be me. How I was. It wasn't. It was so much more. So much more.  
  
My blows began to weaken as my screams turned to sobs. I fell over you, grabbing your shirt and sobbing. "N-no... Oh God no..."  
  
This could have been your chance. You could have used this to your advantage. I was opening myself up. Making myself an easy target. But all you did was wrap your arms around me, laying my head on your chest, bringing me close. "It's okay, it's okay Seto. It's okay."  
  
"No it's not!" I sobbed. "Don't touch me!" I fought against you, but you held me.  
  
"Shhh, shh...it's okay." I tried to hit you, but you grabbed me by the wrists and held me. "Stop it, Seto. Please. I don't want to hurt you. Just...calm down."  
  
I stopped and stared at him. "What did you say?"  
  
"I'm not going to hurt you."  
  
"What was that shit you started, then?"  
  
"I wanted your ten, not a piece of you. Fuck... If you didn't carry around such big bills, you wouldn't attract so much attention."  
  
"Maybe you should stop trying to take people's money."  
  
"Maybe you should get off me before someone gets a funny idea." You raised your eyebrows, smiling innocently.  
  
I jumped off you and held out my hand to help you up. You stared at it and finally took it. You began smoothing out your uniform, refusing to make eye contact with me.  
  
"Wh-what did you say your name was?" I asked.  
  
"I didn't." Your brown puppy-dog eyes finally locked with mine, a silly grin on your face. "I'm Joey Wheeler." You grabbed my hand, shaking it. "Seto, right? Something Kaiba?"  
  
"Just Seto's fine. Technically my legal name is just Seto Kaiba now."  
  
You nodded, a little confused. "Okay...why?"  
  
"I was adopted...by Gozabo Kaiba."  
  
"The multi-billionaire? Wow...talk about lucky."  
  
I wasn't very enthusiastic. "Yeah, totally." It was my turn to avoid eye- contact. "You wouldn't..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Nothing... I'll see you at school, Joey Wheeler." 


	2. 02

I left you without another glance. But you continued to watch me as I walked off. When I was out of sight, you shoved your hands in your pockets and started home.  
  
You were surprised, when your dad was home. "Hey dad, I wasn't expecting you home so--"  
  
"What happened to you?" he asked.  
  
"Just a fight."  
  
"You know you're not suppose--"  
  
"I know dad! Just...leave it alone, okay?"  
  
You slammed the door to your room irritated. You began throwing off your uniform until you were wearing only your boxers and threw yourself on the bed. You threw open the drawer to your nightstand and pulled out well-used porn mag and some hand lotion. Squeezing the latter in your hands, you took your already hard cock in your hand and opened the magazine, slowly beginning to stroke it. The harder you began to pump it, the tighter your eyes closed. You dropped the magazine and threw your head back, moaning. Slowly, your mind began slipping to deep blue eyes that pierced you with their gaze. Hey, don't blame me for the lame-ness, you said it.  
  
You gave one last moan, spilling your seed all over yourself, gasping as you realized you had just gotten off by thinking about a classmate. A male classmate at that. You sat their in shock, unable to believe what you had just done.  
  
"Joey?" you dad asked, knocking at the door. "Is everything alright?"  
  
"F-fine...everything's fine."  
  
"Dinner's ready."  
  
"I'm not really hungry," you said, quickly cleaning yourself up.  
  
"I don't believe that. Get out here."  
  
You pulled on some pants and a t-shirt and walked out to the kitchen. "Hey," you said softly.  
  
You guys ate your meal pretty silent, you deep in thought. You knew those feelings were weird. Finally, you asked softly, "Dad?"  
  
"Yes Joey?"  
  
"Um...well see, there's this guy," you began quickly, unable to look up at him. "And we got in a fight. And he beat me. Twice. That's not something I'm used to. But now it seems that he, well...I was jerking off in my room. And right before I cummed, I was thinking of him. So now I'm wondering if that makes me--"  
  
"Gay?" he asked softly, staring at you. "You were jerking off to a guy?" He stood up quickly, knocking his chair to th ground. "You were jerking off to a guy." He grabbed you by your shirt collar and threw you against the wall. He didn't hit you though, like you were expecting. He just stared at you. "You... You... You...you...fucking FAGGOT!" he screamed, knocking you hard in your already bruised face with his arm.  
  
"Dad, please! Stop!" you yelled, pushing him away from you.  
  
"Go to your room."  
  
"But--  
  
"Now."  
  
"Dad, I--"  
  
"GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!" he screamed.  
  
You ran to your room, hot tears falling down your burning cheeks.  
  
The next day, after a pretty uneventful day at school, you came home to an empty house. Okay, so maybe it wasn't uneventful, you did beat up kid who started shit with you. And you got nearly threatened. And you didn't see me at school at all. But it wasn't TOO eventful.  
  
A few minutes later, your dad came home. You stared down at your feet. "Hello, sir."  
  
"Joseph, we need to talk."  
  
You nodded, sitting down in a chair.  
  
Your dad joined you, sitting across from you. "Joey, I'm sorry I hit you. I guess the whole shock of it--"  
  
"Don't be sorry, I deserve it."  
  
"No you don't. I never took the time to...I don't want you to get hurt, Joey. There's nothing worse than being gay--"  
  
"Fuck you!" you screamed at him, standing up.  
  
"Watch your language, boy!" he said back, standing up, too.  
  
"Watch my ass, dad. As I leave." You ran to your room, tears falling down your cheeks. "I hate you," you whispered, throwing yourself on the bed, sobbing. 


	3. 03

The next day at school, I was there and you sat next to me in the grass at lunch. "Hi," you said a bit nervously.  
  
"Hey," I said softly back, not looking up from my book.  
  
"Where were ya yesterday?"  
  
"Just...stuff...um, I was wondering. Joey...would you like to...t-to come over after school?"  
  
You were so excited, I was a bit taken aback. I only smiled, though, mystified, as the bell rang, signaling we had to get to class.  
  
At the end of the day, I found you sitting on a bench outside. "Hey, you ready to go?" I placed my hand gently on your shoulder.  
  
You jumped up and grabbed my hand, dragging me along. "Come on! Lets go!"  
  
"Um, hold on, Joey. I have us a ride." I stopped you and pulled you over to a limo. "My... Mr. Kaiba has me travel in this. For protection, I suppose."  
  
The limo ride was fun for once, since I wasn't in it alone. The way you poked around at things and the look in your eyes when you found a full- stock mini-bar were classic. You turned to me, bottles in each hand. "You have all this alcohol to yourself and you don't have any parties?"  
  
I smiled at you, crossing my arms at you. "And just who would I invite?"  
  
"Me, you dork," you said laughing, putting the bottles away. You bounded over next to me, staring at me, interested. "You know, Seto, I've never really had a lot of friends. Mostly just, you know, buddies."  
  
"Your 'posse'?" I asked, staring out the window.  
  
"Well, yeah...kinda... I used to be in a gang."  
  
I turned to look at you, eyes wide. "What?!"  
  
"Yeah, see, that's one of the many reactions I normally get." Your long blond bangs covered your eyes, looking down at the floor. "Another is people don't want to be near me. It's just...one of those things I had to do. I don't...my home life isn't ideal. My dad likes to drink. He's been going to AA meetings, though, so things are getting better, but we got a lot of debts and such. A gang meant...I had a real family. And...ways to make money."  
  
"Wh-what happened to your mother?"  
  
"My parents divorced when I was 10... She took my sister and left. I was so angry...I guess I just couldn't take it."  
  
I wrapped my arm around your mid-back sympathetically and we fell silent for the remainder of the ride.  
  
When we pulled up to the mansion, your eyes widen and you jumped from my grasp, staring out the window like an excited puppy. "This is where you live?" you started, talking so fast, I didn't have a chance to answer. "Wow, it's so big, and wide and oh wow! Do you really live here? There's probably--"  
  
My hand shot to cover your mouth. "Quiet, silly." We locked eyes and sat quiet for what felt like forever and yet like it had never happened when we stopped. I felt lifetimes tick by in the time we stared, but it was probably only a few fleeting seconds. I broke your gaze, moving my hand from your mouth and grabbing my knapsack from school. "Come on," I said a bit huskily, climbing out of the limo.  
  
I led you through the cold, perfect house to my slightly more used room. Your eyes traveled to a large mural on my wall. "That's a cool looking dragon," you said, peering at it.  
  
"It's the Blue Eyes White Dragon," I said from my bathroom where I was changing out of the school uniform.  
  
"The what?"  
  
"Blue Eyes White Dragon. From Magic and Wizards?" I asked you, coming from the bathroom.  
  
"Never heard of it. It some kind of TV show?"  
  
"No, just a card game. I'm working on becoming a champion; I'm entered in a tournament."  
  
You turned to smile at me, lost. "Okay, whatever. What other cool stuff you got?"  
  
"Not much, really."  
  
You wondered over to my large floor-to-ceiling window and peered out. "Wow, what a view. You can really forget about the city from here."  
  
"Want to go out? There's a small porch." I began to open the window as we spoke, but your hand grabbed mine forcibly.  
  
"No. Please no." My eyes looked up at yours. "I have this thing...about heights..."  
  
I smiled and continued to open the window. "Come on," I said softly. "I won't let you fall."  
  
I nudged you out. You took one look at the ground two stories below us and tried to get back inside, but I held my ground. You backed up against me and I wrapped my arms tightly around your stomach. "Relax," I breathed into your ear. "I won't let you fall. You mean too much to me."  
  
Your head turned to look back at me, suddenly forgetting your fear. "What?" you whispered back to me.  
  
I turned you around fully, staring into your brown puppy dog eyes. Unable to form how I felt into words, gently tilted your head down into a chaste lip-on-lip kiss. Your lips were so soft and gentle and fit perfectly with mine. But when our kiss didn't break and began to feel my body fill with dread and fear. My knees began to grow weak, scared of what you were going to do. I didn't dare open my eyes and I began mentally bracing for your hit. You were in a gang, I had to remember. And even though I knew I could take you, I also knew I wouldn't want to and I would be willing to take any bit of pain you felt the need to deal me.  
  
It was about this time my knees finally buckled, but you caught me. My eyes opened, staring up at your smiling face. "I thought you promised to catch *me*," you said softly.  
  
I began to fight against you, wanting to die. I tried pulling from your grasp, but you fought right along with me, determined as I blindly began knocking you away. We ended up on my carpet, you holding my wrist down on the ground and I kept my eyes shut, scared of what you were going to do. I felt something grace my cheeks, then suddenly you pressed your lips against mine, holding my face in your hand. "Relax," you whispered before lifting your other hand from holding me down.  
  
You were laying on top of me, holding my face in your hands, pressing your lips against mine. I felt unbelievably happy yet still terrified, wondering what you were going to do. You stopped kissing me, and lifted up a bit, still holding my face in your hands. I opened my eyes slowly and peered up at you. "Why aren't you...hitting me?" I asked softly.  
  
"Because I like you, Seto." You brushed my bangs out of my eyes and continued to smile. "You like me, right?"  
  
"I-I...y-yeah...yes..." I stumbled across my words, unprepared with the idea that you might actually like me back. Suddenly it hit me and I threw my around you, hugging you. "I like you a lot!" I said excitedly.  
  
You leaned back, pulling me into a sitting position, hugging me. "Good, because I was afraid I was the only...I didn't want to be the only one here to..."  
  
"Be gay?" I offered, my voice low and slightly muffled by your arms.  
  
You loosened your grip and looked me in the eyes. "So if I like you, that makes me...gay?"  
  
"I...I don't know. Does it matter? I like you. And we're both guys. Are things like that really suppose to matter?"  
  
"I think so, Seto. They wouldn't have separate names for being gay and straight if it was normal."  
  
I looked down, unable to meet your honest glance. You tried to get me to look at you, but I refused. Finally, I said, "Please, we can't let anyone know."  
  
"My...my father already knows...that I like you. He's not too happy. But, uh..." you smiled at me despite the sad look in your eyes. "It will be okay."  
  
I couldn't help but smile back at you. "Okay then."  
  
We sat quietly, not looking at each other or talking. Finally, you carefully took my hand in yours. Your strong fingers folded my hand into yours, squeezing ever so slightly. "Seto?" you whispered softly.  
  
"Mmhmm?" I murmured.  
  
"Will you go out with me?" I nodded, not trusting my voice. I could feel you looking at me, but I refused to meet your gaze. It felt nice being alone with you. I leaned my head against your shoulder and wrapped my free arm around you in a semi hug. Your other arm wrapped around me and pulled me closer. "Something's wrong, isn't it?" you whispered. When I didn't move or speak, you dropped my hand and began running yours through my hair gently. "Please tell me, Seto." You pulled me into your lap and held me close.  
  
"I...you... Does your father...ever do anything...besides hit you?"  
  
"I never said he hit me, Seto."  
  
"But he does," I whispered. "I know he does, Joey."  
  
You were quiet for several minutes. I began worrying if I had made you mad. You finally whispered, "When I was younger. A lot younger. He used to. Right after my mom left, he molested me." As you continued talking, your voice began to grow stronger and slightly louder. "He'd get really, really drunk and call my mom and beg her to come back. She usually hung up. then my father would come and get me. He always did it on the couch. Never anywhere else. Just...something I noticed. He never remembered doing it afterward. He still doesn't. Sometimes I wonder if it even happened. It's almost like remembering a dream. But I read somewhere that kids don't imagine things like that unless they've already been through it. I tried to ask him once. He said he may hit me to--"  
  
"Toughen you up," I whispered.  
  
I felt your eyes look at me strangely. "Yeah...but that he'd never... How did you know?"  
  
"That's what Kaiba-sama says," I whispered. "He adopted me so he'd have an heir to his company. So now he needs a prodigy. And I'm too soft and 'full of dreams' for him."  
  
"Does-- Does he ever do anything else?" you whispered, almost begging, in your voice, for me to say no.  
  
"Yeah. A lot more. Toughen me up. I'm just happy he doesn't hurt Mokuba. I'd...if he hurt him..." I tightened my fist against you and you brought me closer.  
  
"You shouldn't stay here. I'm sure there's somewhere else--"  
  
"I'm not going back to the orphanage!" I nearly scream. "Anywhere but there. It took me ten years to get out of there and I'm not going back. No one else wants us. They always wanted me. But not us. I was smart and clever and I guess a nice-looking kid, despite my ethnicity. But Mokuba never looked right and he wasn't 'smart enough.' Which is bullshit. He's smart. No one ever goes to an orphanage looking for more than one kid. I wasn't going to leave him."  
  
"Your a very noble brother. I was angry when my mom took my sister. I was also glad she wasn't stuck here." I understood what you were saying. But there was nothing I could do. You can't scream "rape" and expect everything to work out. Kaiba-sama owned half the town. 


	4. 04

I made you leave soon after that. So Kaiba-sama wouldn't come home and see you. I was working on homework in the kitchen next to Mokuba, when I felt his hand on my shoulder. "How was school?" came his cold, monotone voice. He tightened his grasp and my pencil fell from my hand.  
  
"F-fine," I stammered.  
  
"Speak up!" he yelled, knocking his other hand into my jaw.  
  
"School was fine!" My breathing became heavy. I remember wondering why he had to do this in front of Mokuba.  
  
His hand began to roughly "massage" my shoulder. "That's wonderful," he said dryly. "I'm glad you're adjusting just fine. I picked this up for you on the way home. Still not dropping my shoulder, he used his free hand to drop a pack of Duel Monster cards on my text book. "That's the game you play, right?"  
  
I nodded, but stared strangely at the pack of cards. Why in the world would he have bought me this? I wondered. "Th-thank you, Kaiba-sama."  
  
"Of course. You are my son now. I do things for my sons." He tighten his grip. "You hair color is funny. You should dye it."  
  
I nodded, tears beginning to blur my eyes from the pain. "Yes, Kaiba- sama."  
  
He finally let go. "Finish your work soon. I want to talk to you before dinner." He walked out of the room.  
  
My stomach began to churn strangely. *Before dinner...* Oh god, why? I pocketed the pack of cards without opening them.  
  
We were all unusually quiet at dinner. Usually Gazaboro was busy telling me how to put my crowded mind to productive use. But he was quietly reading over a document and picking at his food. I was trying not to puke into my food, not even pretending to be eating and Mokuba sensed my tenseness, I suppose. Finally, we were excused and we went to our rooms where I finally puked into my trashcan.  
  
Things didn't improve and it was like living two lives. One at school, one at home. Well, I guess I was living multiple lives. One with Mokuba, one with Kaiba-sama in front of people, one out of other people's gazes. One classroom life and one lunch life. And finally, my life with you. I was finally free from everything. I enjoyed being with you because you meant safety and freedom. I adored your house and I'm not even sure why. It was ugly in all reality. But I think that was it. It was real. There was no perfect pictures hanging on the wall; no perfect maids waiting on you, no perfect-ness that *I* had to be. Your father was hardly home and we were glad. Weren't we? I know I was. You didn't always seem to be.  
  
Sometimes you stared off into space when I was talking--something I used to do a lot of--and totally blank out. A soft kiss on your neck always brought you back and you'd smile and everything was perfect. But if it was perfect, then why didn't it last? "Nothing perfect lasts," I can almost hear you murmuring. But if it's really perfect, then it *will* last. So why didn't our life last? I loved you. I really did. I won't deny it. I wasn't scared to tell you that when we were together. I liked whispering it to you, especially, when you were having a bad day just so I could see your face light up. Your smile was--and still is--beautiful. It's so real and perfect and just...you. You were perfect. Perfect for me. You were honest and caring and gentle and I think you may have been in love with me, too. Though I never can tell. I hope you were. And yet I pray to any god there is watching over us that you didn't. Because then it would make sense. It would make sense why you did what you did. Betrayed me. But I wonder if you really loved me or if I was just deluding myself the entire time.  
  
Do you remember our little place? It was in the far gardens of Kaiba- sama's estate. There was a bench surrounded on all sides with dense rose bushes. They were taller than either of us and we risked the thorns to get to it. It was nice to just sit and be together there. It was almost even better to know that we were making out right under their noses.  
  
That's when you'd notice the bruises. You never said anything, but I could feel your fingers wonder over them over and over again. Your touch was something else all together. It was feathers that tickled and caressed, yet were strong and sure like everything about you. So was your kiss and everything. I loved the way your teeth bit teasingly at my lower lip, until my breath was showing you how much I wanted you. Everything about me wanted everything about you. You completed me. You utterly completed me. You made the multi-lives work for me. It was worth it with you. You made life worth living.  
  
But the bruises. You never let me shrug them off. You'd always make me know that you knew about them. And you wouldn't let me drop them. I think I was too angry to know you cared when you did it, but all I wanted to do was forget the pain when I was with you. I bet you had bruises, though. I almost remember seeing the gashes across your arms and chest. But I didn't want to see them. I didn't want to see the abuse we both suffered. I wanted our life to be nothing but perfect. But it couldn't be. Because you wanted me to leave. You'd whisper, while you held me, that I should pack up and leave. Run away. But I never could. Whenever my hand ran over my over-night bag, I'd freeze, seeing your smiling face. I selfishly couldn't leave you. I didn't care anymore what Kaiba-sama did to me. No, never. You made me want to pretend they didn't happen. So I could live my perfect life with you.  
  
But you never let me. We never actually fought. Sometimes, however, we'd get into heated discussions over it until I withdrew from you and asked you to leave. You'd never back down. I guess you were doing it for my own good, but it never felt like it. It felt like you wanted something else; something more. Like I wasn't perfect. I guess you really just wanted what was best for me. But you were so wrong. Running away wasn't best. You were. You were what I needed.  
  
I bet some people knew. I know I couldn't have lived my multi-lives perfectly. They tended to cross over each other so I bet sometimes people saw the way I looked at you. I think more than one teacher "knew" but said nothing. But I could see the questioning stares we got when they thought I couldn't see them. I didn't care. I honestly didn't. I loved you. Nothing else mattered.  
  
I just wish that you had loved me.  
  
You invited me to your house for dinner. Your father finally came around and insisted upon it. I asked you if you thought it was a good idea and you shrugged. "I'm not sure. He's being kind of weird about it. It's up to you."  
  
"I don't want to start anything with him."  
  
You took my hand and gave it a squeeze. "He's sober most of the time now. No worries." You brushed some hair out of my face and smiled. I threw discretion to the wind and leaned in and kiss you. You smiled and ran your hand along my jaw line. "Silly Seto," you chanted softly and leaned in for another kiss. Thankfully, we were in a secluded part of the playground so no one saw us.  
  
I went home like any normal day. I started my homework, though Mokuba was in his room. I felt my body tense and my eyes close and then I realized he was there. Watching me. I slowly turned to look at him. "Hello, Kaiba- sama." My eyes hurried back to my book.  
  
He stood in the doorway watching me for several minutes. I tried to ignore him but waited. It was going to happen. What, I wasn't sure, but something was defiantly going to happen. I heard my sobs before I realized what happened. It had happened so fast. I was lying, sprawled on the floor with the chair tangled in my legs, blood gushing out of my arm. "You worthless..." I heard him mutter before I felt him hit me again. This time in the head. I began seeing a bright light, blocking out everything else. A constant ring in my ears drowned out his words as I felt the metallic of his briefcase slam into me. I passed out soon afterwards.  
  
When I awoke, I felt the urge to throw up again. Then I realized what was happening. A small voice in my head said, "He's fucking you. He's fucking your passed out body. Do you know that? Look at you, you idiot. I bet you like it, too. You like to feel his hands grabbing onto you. I bet you want this. You pray for it."  
  
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" I screamed, covering my ears. "Nononononononononononon! Please stop, please stop, please stop." I was talking to the voice. Kaiba-sama would do what he wanted. I knew that. I also knew begging him wouldn't do any good. So I begged the voices. "Let me be!"  
  
He left me lying on the floor of a guest room, covered in blood, sweat, and his cum, beating my head against the floor, begging the voices to stop. They never did. From then on, they were always there. They still are.  
  
After awhile, I stopped yelling and banging my head. I felt, more than saw, Kaiba-sama cleaning me up and pulling me into decent clothes. He drove me to the hospital and had them look me over. It was one big daze to me as I felt strong, gentle hands wrap my wounds. I woke next time in my room, the covers thrown over me. I threw up again. Each time I have to throw up. It always happened sooner or later. It was all I could do sometimes to not throw up on him. I ran my hand over the removable cast that covered my left arm. It was green and clashed with my hair. I remember wishing it was blue. Just stupid things like that. I hugged my pillow close as I listening to the voices in my head.  
  
Kaiba-sama still got me up in the morning. He didn't say anything about it as he dragged me downstairs while I was still practically asleep. I was wearing my uniform as he force-fed me some toast. I whispered softly if I could eat dinner at your house and stay the night. He agreed and I was happy.  
  
A few people asked about my sprained wrist and you happily took credit for it. For once, I refused to talk to you about it. You seemed a bit angry, but didn't press the issue. However, you ate lunch with Tristan that day. We didn't speak to each other for the entire school day until gym. Couch hit me on the back off handedly when I handed him the hospital note and I screamed. You and he turned to stare at me. I was reeling from the pain so it was too late before I realized he was pulling up my shirt. "Kaiba...what the hell happened?"  
  
I twisted away from him and hugged myself, feeling cold. My eyes were to the ground. "We got in a fight," I heard you whisper.  
  
Couch shook his head as he left. "That's one hell of a bruise, Kaiba." I began crying softly into my hands when I felt your arms go around me. "God, Seto. Tell me. Please. I'm begging you. I know who did. What happened? Just tell me. Please. We need to get you help."  
  
"I-I...I went to the hospital. I'm fine."  
  
"No you're not. He's going to kill you, Seto. Don't be an idiot."  
  
Don't be an idiot, don't be an idiot. See? He thinks you're an idiot. Worthless and a pain in his ass. Look at you. So pathetic. So very, very pathetic. I did my best to ignore the voices. "He won't kill me. He's just toughening me into a C.E.O. for his company." 


	5. 05

We pretended the school day never happened when we began to walk to your house. You chatted freely about a video game and I listened. Looking back, though, things were different. Our roles had switched. I was *always* the one filling up our time with my talk and you were the one always listening. It was different. The voices began to silent me.  
  
The apartment was empty when we got there and I heard you whispering how he was working later than usual as you pulled me gently to the couch. You laid down and pulled me on top of you as you began to kiss at my neck. I moaned softly, feeling your tongue run over my skin. "Oh Joey..." I moaned softly as you began to bit at my neck.  
  
Your father clears his throat uncomfortably, startling me out of my extasy. I jump up, rubbing at my neck, staring at him. You're slower to get up, grinning sheepishly. "Hey Dad. You're home early."  
  
He raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms. "Didn't I catch you like this once before?"  
  
You coughed and looked at me through the corner of your eyes. "Yeah...twas a chick, though. And you got a lot more mad."  
  
"You can knock up a girl, Joseph."  
  
You groaned at your name. You climbed off the couch and took my hand and brought me to your dad. "Sean Wheeler, this is Seto Kaiba. My boyfriend."  
  
I felt your father's eyes study me closely. I had never felt more nervous in my life. He finally took my hand and shook it warmly. "Why don't you boys go on up stairs and I'll fix dinner."  
  
You wrapped your arm around my waist and led me up. "That was surprising," you muttered as I pulled off my uniform coat and sat down on the bed.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"He didn't say anything. About you. I...never mind. Don't worry about it." You jumped onto the bed and pulled me into a kiss.  
  
I don't really remember what we had that night, but your father's eyes continued to watch me closely. "I'm really quite surprised," he said at a lull of the conversation.  
  
"Yes?" I asked clueless, just as you groaned.  
  
"Dad...please..."  
  
"I never knew Joey would fall for an Oriental."  
  
I blinked, shocked. "I...sir..."  
  
"Dad, please. Don't."  
  
"Don't you 'Dad, please' me, young man!" he snapped. "Honestly. It's one thing to be with a guy, but why an Oriental?"  
  
I felt tears come to my eyes. I turned to you, upset and you took my hand. "He's Japanese-American, Dad, and it doesn't matter."  
  
"But you said you were attracted to him. How can those crooked eyes do anything for you?"  
  
I choked on my bite of food.  
  
"That's the mark of Cain, you know. He killed his brother and God punished him. Gave him the mark and sent him out. There's where Orientals come from. Evil. Pure evil."  
  
"Dad, don't do this. You're not a religious man anyway, why--"  
  
"It doesn't matter. It's a fact. They eat dog and cat, too. Don't you, boy?"  
  
I stared down at my food, biting at my lip.  
  
"They think they're so much smarter than us, too. With...Sony...and Mitsubishi. All that. Kaiba Corp. That your father?"  
  
"My adopted father," I whispered.  
  
"Don't even get me started on Pearl Harbor..." he muttered.  
  
"Dad, please," you begged.  
  
"Is it true Orientals have small cocks--"  
  
"Dad!"  
  
I stood up. "Excuse me, please," I whispered as I rushed to the bathroom. I puked worse than ever before as tears streamed down my face. Never had I been so embarrassed and ashamed.  
  
I came back, my head held up high. "Sorry about that," I said.  
  
"I didn't mean to offend you, Seto, it's just--"  
  
"Please. No worries. Your beliefs are totally understandable. But if you wanted to get technical, Adam and Eve were black and white people didn't show up until Abraham had his three wives, each boring him a different colored son. That's where we get the three main races: black, white, and the 'red' race. But even then, Cain isn't the original evil. In Hebrew mythology, God created Adam and Lilith at the same time. But Lilith thought she was equal to Adam, so she refused to submit, like God intended, so she went off and laid with all the evils, bearing all of the pain and anguish we have now. Sort of a Jewish Pandora, if you will. Then Eve was created from Adam's rib to serve him. Besides, for Cain's 'mark' to be passed on, he would have had to have a wife, which I believe he lacked. But even then, Eve ate the apple, putting the entire human race out of God's good grace. Of course, that isn't too bad, since God before gave them everything they wanted, so life wasn't all that important to them. It was the need to compete and stay alive that makes life 'interesting' or worth living. Evil isn't all that bad. 'Evil' is just 'live' backwards.  
  
"Though, to be honest, it's hard to get weighed down by the entire religious dogma. One must wonder where God came from, since everything must have a creator or original. Religion is has, and always will be, a way for people to explain why things happen. It's easy to put the blame, if you will, on someone higher up.  
  
"Just look at all the religions. There's always the higher god, or King God and then the lesser gods."  
  
"What about Christianity?" you spoke up.  
  
"Angels," I said simply. "The stories that are involved are so similar, sometimes, that one must begin to wonder if these things really did happen. Such as the Cain and Able story. In Egypt mythology, Set killed his brother, Osiris, over jealousy. Then there's a common thread with the great flood in many mythologies and the Troyligan [I'm really not sure about the spelling of that] Horse story. Modern religion comes down to one thing: the messiah. Whoever they believe the messiah was or when He will come to save His people."  
  
You both stared at me for several, transfixed minutes. Finally, your father hit himself on the knee, laughing. "Damn. Honestly, Joey, you have yourself a real catch. You strike me, Seto, as a very atheist person, so that much knowledge...incredible. I can't barely imagine how much else you know."  
  
"The entire 'dog' and 'cat' thing, sir, you must remember that you look at it in a bias way. There are people who would be shocked at the way we eat beef. I, myself, have never eaten dog or cat and don't frankly plan to."  
  
"But it's what your people do," he insisted. You groaned. I corrected.  
  
"I've never been to Japan, Mr. Wheeler. I doubt you've ever been to your 'homeland'."  
  
"Point taken." He raised his eyebrows and nodded approvingly. "Clever, respectful, and smart. That in itself makes me want to have you as my son- in-law."  
  
You and I both choked and stared at each other. "Excuse me?" I asked.  
  
"What?! Dad!"  
  
"Plus, from what Joey's told me, you're one hell of a fighter. I apologize for my rudeness, Seto. If my son can recognize everything you have to offer, then there is no reason at all to question you. It doesn't matter where your ancestors came from."  
  
I couldn't help but smile. "Thank you, Mr. Wheeler."  
  
The rest of dinner was comfortable for all of us. So comfortable, in fact, that you leaned in for a kiss without a second thought. We looked up to see him smiling at us. "Has he used the 'l' word yet, Seto?"  
  
"Excuse me?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.  
  
"You know. Has he told you he lov--"  
  
"DAD!" you practically screamed.  
  
I placed my hand on yours and shook my head, smiling. "No, not yet."  
  
"Don't worry. It just takes us Wheelers longer to say it. I can tell he does. I know when my son's happy. He's had a few flings in the past--" you held your head in your hands, sighing, "--but he was never as happy as he is now." I turned to look at you, raising my eyebrow. Your father roared with laughter. "Don't let that put you off. He loves you. And I understand why."  
  
I liked your father a lot afterwards. Even though I felt disgusted, and still do just thinking about it, when he said those ignorant things, I liked how real he was. You don't meet a lot of real people anymore.  
  
We settled down for a movie, your father in a chair, and us on the couch. You took me into your arms and held me close, softly running your fingers up and down my bare arm. You'd lean in for a kiss sometimes. It felt nice. And safe. So very, very safe.  
  
I feel a light blush enters my cheeks as I think about the next part. I can't believe it, either. I was half-asleep as you carried/dragged/lead me to your bed after the movie. You pulled off my shoes, socks, and pants, lying me onto the bed. "Good night, Seto," you whispered, kissing me lightly. You crawled into bed next to me and held me close. "Seto?" you whispered.  
  
"Mmm?"  
  
"I'm glad my dad liked you." You began kissing at my neck lazily.  
  
I reach my hand out to you and was surprised enough to wake up a bit when I descover you were clad in nothing but your boxers. "Joey?" I whispered in an odd voice as my hand trailed over your muscles.  
  
"Mmmm...yeah?"  
  
"Do you...want to...do...it?" I whispered slowly.  
  
"'It'?" you whispered loudly, breaking from me to stare at me.  
  
I pulled my hand from you and blinked, embarrassed. "Nothing, forget it. I--"  
  
"Do you?" you whispered.  
  
"Yes..." I breathed, staring up into your warm caramel eyes.  
  
You brushed a few locks on my hair out of my face and smiled. "To be honest, Seto, I'm not sure what to do. I know it's different then with a girl. And I don't want to hurt you."  
  
I nodded and looked down. "Okay," I whispered.  
  
You brought me close in your arms and sort of turned me to where we were spooning. "I still want to do something," you breathed into my ear, "right now. Because you're so fucking sexy right now and we might not get another chance." Your hand trailed down my chest and slipped under the elastic of my boxers. I sucked in a shaky breath. "Relax," you breathed, taking me in your hands and stroking me.  
  
I groaned and bit my lip. "What about...your dad...?" I moaned softly.  
  
You began to go faster and I could hear the grin in your face as you whispered, "He's caught me eating a girl out, this isn't a big deal."  
  
My mouth dropped opened, shocked, but that left me open for a loud moan. "J-Joey...if you didn't...have me...like this...you'd be so dead...mmmm..."  
  
You began sucking at my neck, giving me a hickey. Then you did something with your hand and I gasped. "Joey!" I said loud enough for your father to probably hear. "Joey...oh god...oh my god..." I wasn't trying to keep my voice down anymore as your hand went over me faster and faster. "Joey! Yes! Oh yes! Joey, Joey, Joey... Jooooeeeeyyyyy..." I moaned and bucked my hips, unable to stand it any longer. I spilled all over your hand and in between the sheets. As I was gasping for breath, you turned me around and caught me into a demanding kiss. We laid on our sides, facing each other. "I love you, Joey," I gasped.  
  
You nuzzled my cheek. "Oh Seto..." you smiled. You placed a small kiss on my temple and ran your hand along my face. You took my hand in yours and brought it to your lips. "Seto?" you breathed.  
  
"Yes, Joey?" I whispered back.  
  
You began to stroke my face gently. "You're wonderful, Seto. There's absolutely no one like you." I laughed, but you caught me into a kiss. You began to kiss at my neck, breathing heavily into my ear. "Oh Seto..." you breathed.  
  
Thinking about it, you really never did say "I love you." I wonder sometimes how you avoided it so gracefully. It's the way you said my name. Seto. I think about it and get shivers. At the time, it was like you were saying "I love you" every single time. But no. You weren't, were you? I loved you and yet you never did. Excuse me as I go destroy a few things.  
  
It burns inside to know what we shared and yet I was cut out of. How could you have not loved me? Never mind. I know. I'm me. I'm Seto Kaiba and I'll never be loved by anyone except Mokuba. Thanks for putting me through this ride. Thanks a lot. You know, this isn't even why I hate you. When I look at you, I don't think, "Damn you for never loving me." No, I'm not like that. I'm jaded and I'm bitter, but no, I don't hold that against you. But I'll tell you one thing. The way you said my name haunts me sometimes. That's one reason I go by "Kaiba."  
  
Fuck it. You know why I hate you? What you did? What you did to me? The embarrassment I had to go through? What you did? Well, remember what happened when I went home? Of course you do. How could you forget?  
  
You saw the bruises. Everyone saw them. I must have looked disgusting. I didn't want to go to school, but he made me. I didn't have a choice in the matter, did I? I was forced into it. I didn't want to go for anything. It hurt so much. Then I withdrew. I wouldn't talk to anyone, not you, not Mokuba, and certainly not anyone at school. It was embarrassing. Because, for once, it wasn't a few bruises I could have gotten fighting with you. It was every inch of visible skin bruised a sickly greenish-purple, while what was covered was bluish-black. There were swollen hand marks on my neck and it hurt terribly when I sat down. 


	6. 06

But life went on around me. Despite me. When I think back to it, I see me standing there and life going past me at the speed of light. It was probably two months after that night, when I was in gym class, trying to cover my still-healing bruises in the shorts and thin shirt. Couch had let me sit out for the first two weeks, but was forced to make me participate without a doctor's note. They were choosing teams and I was chose so I walked over to the side. Then I heard the words that began the sickish nightmare. "Skins. Take off your shirts."  
  
After several failed attempts to communicate through my eyes with the couch, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Waiting for me to take off my shirt so we could begin. What sport were we even doing? Basketball? Football? Who knows. All I know is everyone was watching as I slowly pulled off my shirt. Everyone was watching my sickening bruises come to light. I couldn't hear a sound besides my heavy breathing, then one collected gasp. I looked over at you. Your eyes widened. I dunked my head and waited, playing with the hem of my shirt.  
  
"Kaiba..." the couch spoke first.  
  
I looked up at him on the verge of tears, then ran. I bolted to the locker room, tears streaming down my face. I was ashamed. I ran through the large locker room and hide myself in the farthest corner, sobbing into my folded arms on my knees. My sobs echoed through the room, along with your soft calls for me. "Seto? Seto, come out...please...where are you?"  
  
Couch found me first and gently placed a hand on my shoulder. "Kaiba...Seto...who did this to you?"  
  
I jerked from him as he continued to interrogate me softly.  
  
You finally found us and slide down next to me. "Seto..." you whispered and took me into your arms. You rocked me back and forth as I sobbed into your chest. You ran your finger through my hair, soothing me down to silent tears. I love the way your arms feel around me. Or at least the way they used to feel. I don't know what they feel like now.  
  
"Seto, what happened?" Couch asked me softly. "Who did this to you?"  
  
"N-n-no one. No one...no one..." I whispered.  
  
"Was is Wheeler?"  
  
I shook my head.  
  
"Was it Taylor?"  
  
Again, I shook my head in the negative.  
  
"Was it Monroe?"  
  
As he continued through a list of "tough guys," I kept whispering "no" over and over.  
  
"Was it Adams?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Was it Simmons?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Was is Gazaboro? Was it your adopted father?"  
  
I turned to stare at him with a stricken look on my face. "N-nnnn..." My mouth tried to form the word, but I couldn't. I closed my eyes and droned out, "No, it wasn't Gazaboro. Kaiba-sama would never to this."  
  
He began speaking again, but the bell rang. We all looked up at the ceiling, a bit startled, having forgotten where we were. He shook his head and pulled me up. "Get dressed, Wheeler. Kaiba, will you come with me?"  
  
I shrug, looking down at my shoes. He led me to the main office and sat me in a seat. He whispered a few things to our consular and motioned towards me. She led me to her office, where we nearly repeated the previous conversation, sans your support. She paused through the list. "Seto? Seto, look at me. Please."  
  
I kept my head down, but glanced at her through my bangs.  
  
"I don't want you to think I'm punishing you. I'm just trying to help you. Understand? Do you understand, Seto?"  
  
I shrugged. "I should get back to class."  
  
"One more question, Seto. Did your step father do this?"  
  
"He's not my step-dad, he's my adopted father," I quickly corrected her. "He didn't do this. No one did. I want to leave."  
  
She studied me for a few passing seconds. I could tell she wanted to dig deeper. But honestly, who would question Kaiba-sama? He was a god to these people. A multi-million dollar god.  
  
When I made my first billion? I laughed and spit on his picture. I was barely 16 and I had beat him.  
  
She let me go after that, shaking her head. I saw you, even though you thought I didn't. I bet you still think I didn't see you. I did. I saw you slip into her office. I heard the words. "Mrs. Madison? I know who's been beating Seto."  
  
I wanted to go in there and slam my fist in your mouth. How dare you. That was my personal life. If I wanted people in my life, I'd have told them, wouldn't I? Did you really think you were helping things? You weren't. That's what you don't understand. You only made things worse! You thought you were rescuing me? Fuck you and the high horse you rode in on. Who do you think you are butting into my business?  
  
What do you think it was like, sitting at home, eating dinner, knowing someone was going to call? Do you know what it was like to hear the phone ring and for Kaiba-sama to pick it up?  
  
"Yes? This is him. Did he do something wrong?" Glare. "Oh, really? I assure you, I would never do nothing like that. Mmmhmmm. Of course. Must have been one of those fights he started. You don't know? Yes, him and that Wheeler kid fight often. Yes. Yes. I'll make sure. Yes, thanks for calling. Bye." He hung up his cell phone and narrowed his eyes at me. "Finish your meal. We'll talk about this later."  
  
As I pushed the food around my plate, he moved in across from me. "Mokuba," he said not taking his eyes off me. "Go to your room. I need to talk to Seto alone."  
  
A servant came in a picked up my plate and hurried out. I stared down at the table. Idiots, I thought. How's it helping me if you're going to question the person who's hitting me?  
  
"Seto," he said coldly. "Do you know who that was?"  
  
I shook my head, keeping my eyes down.  
  
"It was your school consular. She had a very interesting thing to tell me. Apparently, that little faggot friend of yours has been telling her something interesting. Do you know what that is?"  
  
I shook my head.  
  
He reached over and hit me with the back of his hand. "Listen here, Seto! I discipline you! I make you stronger! You'll never survive in the real world if I didn't toughen you up! I don't abuse you!"  
  
"Yeah, of course you don't abuse me. You're too rich," I found myself saying.  
  
He grabbed me by the hair and slammed my head into the table. "You little retard! Who do you think you are? I adopted you! What if I was to send you back?!"  
  
"Any place would be better than this!" I screamed, his hands ripping hair out.  
  
"Even the street? Is that what you want?! Because I can have that arranged!" He threw me back into the chair and back handed me.  
  
"I hate you!" I screamed.  
  
A smile danced across his face. "Oh really? Well, you're the one who won at the chess game." He crossed his arms. "You tricked me into adopting you and that little snot-nosed brat."  
  
"Don't you ever--!"  
  
His fist knocking into my mouth stopped me. "He's mine. You're mine. I can and will do whatever I want with you!" He suddenly turned from me and started up the stairs.  
  
I was too stunned to do anything until I heard screaming. "Seto! Seto, help me! SEEEETTTOOOO!!!!"  
  
I bolted out of my chair and took up the stairs as fast as I could. "Mokuba!" I yelled. I found him, half-clothed, on his bed. Kaiba-sama loomed over him, loosening his belt.  
  
"NO!" I screamed and ran towards him.  
  
It always seems to be raining in movies when someone's about to die. That's what it was like. The minute I ran for him, you could hear the crack of lightning and the sound of thousands of drops hitting everything in the world; cleaning it. We were lit only by the occasional lightning bolt, his fists cracking into me like lightning. Mokuba's window, which never latched right, suddenly burst open with a gust of wind, just as I pushed him off me. He tripped over his own feet and slipped on the soaked porch and fell to his death. Mokuba ran to me and I held him close. We rocked back and forth, sobbing into each other's arms. 


	7. 07

It was several months before you and I spoke again. Kaiba-sama's death came as a big shock to everyone. The Big Five tried to exert their force, but was pushed back with the set of lawyers I paid for. I defended my estate with little tax taken out of it and things settled down. I suppose people were surprised when I was actually made a C.E.O. by The Big Five. I was suppose to be a puppet, but, again, I surprised everyone by making Mokuba Vice President and actually taking charge.  
  
When I was sorting through a box of things, I found the pack of cards Kaiba- sama had so thoughtfully bought me. I opened them, mildly interested and was shocked to be holding a Blue Eyes White Dragon. I began to chuckle as I realized the irony of it all. I had been nothing and would have continued to be nothing if it wasn't for the person who caused me the most pain.  
  
As the whirl-wind of everything died down, I made you a little visit. I pressed on the doorbell and stood, waiting for you to answer. The walls to your apartment were paper-thin, for I heard the sound of flesh hitting flesh, and "Go get the door you worthless mutt."  
  
You came to the door, wearing your wrinkled school uniform, rubbing your arm. Your hair was messed up more than usual and you walked with a slight limp. Black-and-blue bruises marred your pale skin in several places and your eyes looked hollow and like you hadn't slept in days. You stepped back a bit when you saw me. "Seto," you whispered.  
  
"I go by Kaiba, now," I spoke coldly.  
  
You blinked and stepped back again. "K-Kaiba...Kaiba...do-- Do you wanna come in?"  
  
I brushed at the corner of my mouth and cleared my throat. You ran your hand over your mouth and looked at it. I laughed coldly. "Spit or swallow?" You stared at me as tears came to your eyes. You turned on your heels and began shutting the door on me. I caught the door with my hand. "Don't you know better than to shut the door on people?" I walked into your living room and nodded at your father, who was pulling his pants up.  
  
"Sssseto?" he slurred.  
  
"I go by 'Kaiba' now, Mr. Wheeler. How are you?"  
  
He kicked at a few empty bottles that littered the floor. "I hear you inherited quite a bit of money. And the business...I see my son really isn't totally worthless."  
  
"Your son and I aren't really dating anymore."  
  
You stared at me. "S-S...Kaiba..." You looked down. "Please leave, Kaiba. Right now."  
  
I turned to you and narrowed my eyes. "I just wanted to say, *Joey,* that I am disgusted by the way you've treated me."  
  
"What the hell are you talking about, big shot?"  
  
I just smiled and shook my head. "Fuck you, Joey."  
  
"You already TRIED to!"  
  
Your father stumbled over to you and put his arm around your shoulders. "You don't know what you're missing, *Kaiba,*" he mumbled. "He gives GREAT head."  
  
You stared at me, then glanced at your father through the corner of your eye. I laughed, cruelly, as you pushed past us and left the house.  
  
That's the last time I saw you before that day in The Kame Game Shop. I mean, I saw you, but you know what I mean. I was cruel. I really shouldn't have said what I had. You know what I really wanted to do? I wanted to save you. The way you had saved me. That's what you really did for me. You saved me. I mean, yeah, you put me through a lot. I killed a man because of you. But in reality, you saved me. I'm sorry I couldn't realize that earlier. I really am. I don't hate you Joey. I hate myself. I really do. I really wish you loved me. Because I still love you. 


End file.
